|
As the parent of a pre-teen or
teenager, you may long for the days when you could hold your child on
your lap and they were eager to talk, laugh, and play with you. Those
days may be long gone, but you can still find ways to connect with your
teen. Here are a few tips to make process easier.
Talk About Your Past Experiences
If your teen is having a problem, they may think they are the only one
in the world who has ever had that particular problem. Talk to your teen
about the
situations you experienced as a teen. The clothes and music may have
changed, but you still dealt with peer pressure, sex, drugs, and
homework. Let them know you understand and will be there for them, if
they want to talk about their problem.
Express An Interest
Make time for your teen, and express an interest in what they are doing.
You dont need to use this time to lecture them, or even talk. You can
simply sit and
watch their favorite show or listen to their favorite band. Try not to
pass judgment or criticize anything. Just make time to hang out.
Your teen will appreciate your interest and this will help develop
open lines of communication.
Let Them Know When You Are Wrong
It is hard to admit when you are wrong, especially to your children.
However, admitting your mistakes, and apologizing if necessary, will
strengthen your bond
with your child. It will also let them know that it is okay to admit the
things they have been wrong about.
Let Them Know You Love Them
They may roll their eyes and shrug whenever you say I love you, but they
do care, and they like to hear it.
Go For A Drive
Ask your teen to take a drive with you. You dont have to have any
particular place in mind, just start driving. The simple fact that you
are in the car can
help open up a conversation, and since you are not looking each other in
the eye, it may be easier for your teen to talk to you.
Take Turns Listening And Speaking
Make a deal with your teen that when you are having a conversation, only
one person can speak at a time. If you are speaking, your teen needs to
sit and listen.
When it is your teens turn to speak, show them the same respect and
listen to what they are saying.
While your goal is to have a better relationship with your teen, you
still need to set boundaries and let them know that you are the parent.
Teens may complain
about rules, curfews, and chores, but secretly, they like the fact that
you care enough to set them in the first place.
Article by:
Need more tips on parenting your teen? Visit Parenting
My Teen for free tips, resources and a bi-weekly podcast dedicated
to helping you parent your adolescent.
|
